Hi everyone, I’m probably starting a whole new blog here as I haven’t been here in a few years.
Anyway, I continue to need “Cover”, as in, I am still in hiding as bipolar, so this blog is back.
I started my graphic novel about being bipolar back in the year 2000. Since then it’s been a long 17 years of writing it and then getting stumped and not writing it. I think I am going to post the whole thing on here for now, while I get up the gumption to make copies of pages and send them to publishers.
With a graphic novel, I see that most publishers want copies of actual pages, which I definitely have. The problem is they are so far photos taken from my iPhone,so I will have to take the whole thing somewhere and get good copies. Each page is 11 x 14 inches which won’t fit on a regular scanner unfortunately.
Anyway I need somewhere to complain and bitch about the process and whether it’s worth it to try to share with the outside world how it is to have a mental illness that gets directly in the way of your process of trying to tell a story.
I have a fragile confidence in this book since 2000. I recently shared it with two people and got some feedback that has led me to come back to this old familiar blog and my old familiar bipolar closet.
I feel shitty that I haven’t posted on here for a huge long time and can’t even find the 30 day challenge I was doing a year ago.
Anyway back again as I was making some of my photo collages and wanted to start making more and posting them here to stay motivated. I haven’t done any in a really long time which is probably why I neglected my blog again.
Here it is and I know I won’t do it every day but I hope it gets me going and posting photo collages:
1. Name of blog: I think it was very inspired as I love the real novel Notes From Underground; I can’t remember it now as I read it several times in high school and college but it conjures up the idea of being an “underground” person and I guess I see my bipolar as my underground persona. She is under the ground all the time with me and sometimes she comes up for air and I have an episode. Sort of like the sidewalk creatures I invented when my dog Elvis was alive on my walks with him I imagined these creatures under the sidewalk. Anyway the blog is exactly like it’s title, my notes from underground, from Bipolar Land, and as I am in the closet with my mental illness, this is the blog where I can be open but stay underground… I hope someone is reading this as it’s hard to blog when nobody reads your posts…
The best thing that happened to me this week: a cleaner apartment…
Something disgusting to you:
Wow there are so many but I think bed bugs tops my list as they scare me even though I’ve never seen one…
A date you would love to go on:
Winter now so maybe a weekend at a cool bed and breakfast somewhere pretty… I love hotels!
Things you want to say to an ex
However I have stuff to say to an ex friend of mine who was like a relationship. Things like: you fucking suck that you never paid me the thousands you owed me on my credit card. It’s disgusting behavior. And I did do too much for you. And you are way sicker than me and will be unhappy for the rest of your life because you think you lost me and others because we betrayed you. You’re wrong. You treated me like shit for years while telling me I was your favorite person. You were never my favorite person at least from 1990 on. I realize you were a terrible friend to me because of all the good friends I have now and while we were supposed to be friends .I never want to see you again.
Your current relationship
My husband is snoring away; he tells me I snore too and that if he tries to cuddle with me when I’m asleep I hit him and push him away! I’m a deep sleeper and remember nothing of these exchanges. Recently I was sweeter to him in my sleep which I was happy to hear…we fight and disagree but we love each other. I told my daughter tonight about how when we were much younger if he said something sweet or romantic to me he’d have to hound me to look him in the eyes because it was too intense for me..